C is for Confusing

Assalamualaikum and hai.

Yup. Here I am. Sitting. Typing. Boring. Or apa budak sekarang panggil.. PISHHAANG. Kahkahkah.

But of course lah sebab i need somewhere I can't express my mixed up feeling. Why I choose blog?

1. No ONE read my blog. Even it is not private. Kah

2. I don't have a friend.

I don't know. I always have this kind of feeling which make me think that I was annoying, Im such a boring person, lame, not so cool yet not so hot. And then, I ended up treating him worstly because I thought he didn't have any feeling for me based on my negative thinking. But then, I will terribly miss him, need him, want-to-text-him-all-day feeling but my ego has been built up so high so I ended up by doing nothing. I wait for him to text me first and felt really happy when I've got it but then I ruined it again because I don't know how to keep the conversation going. I don't know. I can't even understand myself. I love him very much but I.. I don't know. I hate my own negative thinking.

Perhaps because I have split personalities. Perhaps.